Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Welcome to my humble project. "Hey Mothers, let's be sisters" is in its very early infancy. (I will not make habit out of child/project metaphors-no such promises with children/dogs however). It started with naive little me thinking I was really onto something by noticing the clash of philosophy among parents and the ensuing judgment, defensiveness, etc, etc. But before I could develop my book deal fantasy I had another realization, this has all been realized and discussed ad nauseum. Still, though, I find no peace. It bothers me that this parenting experience that is so profound, and that has filled me with more love than I ever thought a human heart could hold has moved me further, not closer, to humanity.

What if there was a way to generalize and transfer some, a fraction, of this deep and abiding love that we all feel for our children to each other, to the world at large? How can war even exist when so many people are walking around with this much ever loving LOVE in their hearts? There has to be a way to apply this. And yet, we can't even not wage war against someone who lets their kid cry it out. Or not it cry it out, or whatever. I am not sure what the answer is, but after 3 1/2 years in the game the only thing I have figured out (and I mean the only thing) is that; it starts with me. I must, as Gandhi said, be the change I wish to see in this world. So I am endeavoring to think some thoughts, read some books, pick some brains, and explore how this mother can start creating community from within. More compassion, less judgment; more respect, less judgement; more curiosity, less judgement; more honoring my most basic values with how I treat others and less judgement. You get the idea.

Rules for myself:
1. This is positive in nature. I realize and recognize that negative feelings and emotions exist and are a part of the human experience. It is just that, in this forum, I will make every effort to cultivate and nurture affirmative and positive responses, towards myself and others.

2. Essays. Opinion writing. That's my shtick. I will avoid stating anything as FACT. I think we have all had enough of getting it laid on us from some parenting expert who went to a mountaintop with a stone tablet.

3. Realize and acknowledge my own shortcomings here. Meaning, I will endeavor not be self righteous in my essays. These are all the best efforts of my best self done at my computer and not in real time. I don't fancy that I've got this thing all wrapped up and will try not writing like I do. So there is my disclaimer if you are reading this and thinking, "What the...?? Who does this bitch think she is, she totally judged me last week."

4. I am not sure that I will show any comments at all and certainly won't show negative comments. Parenting blogs are overwhelmingly negative when the comments get going. Something meant to uplift or at least inspire thinking spirals out of control pretty quickly when the topic is so close to the hearts of so many. If you have something you feel a burning desire to share, you should consider starting a blog (see "Pump up the Volume" to get why this is so funny). For now at least this more of a collection of essays than a dialog. A really long way of saying, some blog people really scare me.

5. I will use spell check.

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