Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A festive Halloween post ... with razor-blade apples.

Remember when we were kids and someone put a razor blade in an apple? From then on your parents always fished out the apples, leaving you only the sugary candy. sharp objects couldn't be placed into something else? Was this a plan hatched by the Cavity Creeps ... eradicate the healthy food from the trick-or-treat bag? Next thing you knew, people were lining up at the hospital to have their Halloween candy X-rayed. Geez! Doesn't this seem like a failure of imagination?

Like that fun 80s anecdote, an excessive emphasis on outside influences seldom helps. We lose when we are just reacting. We spend all this time sorting metaphorical candy when we really should be educating our kids and setting a foundation so they simply avoid treats that look weird. (that is supposed to be metaphor for equipping kids to say no to dangerous behaviors because you have given them a strong sense of internal morality -- that was totally clear, right?)

In other words: the focus belongs not on the evil world around us, but on the culture and climate inside the home. My theory: to accomplish this we need, A) boundaries and, B) communication. It is still in hypothesis mode, so let me lay it out for you and you tell me what you think ...

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Gee Manee, Cricket -- Enough Already!

"If you are watching fanatically over the morality of your children you may yourself be not completely in order." - Janusz Korczak, How to Love a Child
When I wrote about my daughter's love of admonishing rule-breakers in "i always feel like someone is watching me" it was really just a funny anecdote to segue into an exploration of how I compulsively and harshly judge myself.

But then... I became hyper-aware of my daughter's obsession with rules. And I started to wonder if it was "normal." Not the preoccupation aspect; I got that. And by-the-bye, thank God for child development class or I would have totally pathologized that too. But rather, I became concerned she wasn't more able to apply the rules to herself. I was consumed with the thought that, despite my best efforts, she WASN'T GETTING IT.

Then I had the privilege to witness something. A moment of grace. A moment where I was caught so by surprise by the beautiful nature of my daughter's spirit, that finally and thankfully, my analytical brain was superseded long enough for me to GET IT.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

mixed tape for my peeps

 Thanks and much love for the awesome suggestions on "rock out with your cacophony out. I made you a playlist to show my gratitude--and it rocks.
FYI- F-bomb alert for the first song. If you have more suggestions, post them in the comment section and I will add. Also-if you make a playlist, please share the link in the comment section. 

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