Thursday, January 20, 2011

Dear High School Boyfriend

Dear High School Boyfriend,

I have just learned of your passing. It is numbing and shocking; my heart aches for your family and the people who were a part of your present life. What an enormous loss for them. Even as they grieve and wonder how to go on without you, they must all feel so deeply thankful to have been touched by you.

As I process what I have learned, I recall our relationship and the girl that I was. While I have worked very hard through the years to extend grace, compassion, and forgiveness to my former self, the vivid recollections are painful. Yet, as difficult as that close-up is, it deepens both my appreciation and my understanding of the pivotal and precious part of my journey that included you.

For some years I have had the thought that I wish you knew me now--this updated, integrated version of myself. I have shared this with a few of our mutual friends. But, having some grasp of the space time continuum, I totally get that who I am now is necessitated and precipitated by the fact that you knew me then. Thanks for being a part of who I am.

As we move through life we get all wrapped up and interconnected with others. I feel a particular gratitude to have my person interconnected with yours. That is how I have always felt when I think of you. As I write, I see with startling clarity that the sentiments don't change at all with the horrible news and sad fact of your untimely death.

I wish your family the peace that passes understanding and pray that they will eventually be comforted by their treasured memories of a very fine and special person.

with a grateful heart,

Your High School Girlfriend


  1. Just as I was reading this post, The Doors came on the radio.

    I am thinking of you constantly, and sending all the positive energy I can your way.

    I'm always only a phone call away...with or without the monkey on my back.

    With Love,
    High School German Class Friend turned Friend for a lifetime

  2. Thank you! Isn't it funny how even awkward or painful times in your life can yield the best and most amazing results. (like lifetime friends). Guess that is part of the whole big picture thing we have been talking about. I am so grateful for all of it and for you,
    lots of love,
    your friend who used to lay out with you but now we use sun screen

  3. I actually thought of that...had that relationship not been what it was, we may have never forged our friendship.

    Even more love back at you,
    your friend that you could go out with even when you were grounded because I was the biggest nerd on the face of the planet

  4. Beautiful. I keep trying to type a more elaborate response, but I simply cannot. I am at a loss for words.


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