Get Real

"The key to unlocking this dilemma is recognizing how the ego activity of judging divides the self into judging and judged parts, thus destroying the unity of the self. It is only from unity, from a whole and complete contact with all of the self that we are able to embody and recognize perfection."-The Enneagram Institute

It turns out that I chase perfection by judging myself. According to this little nugget, my methodology is so flawed that I won't be able to even recognize the perfection to which I aspire.

I don't speak in metaphor--here is an literal picture of perfection from one of the magazines I am obsessed with....sigh...so pretty.

Dear High School Boyfriend

Dear High School Boyfriend,

I have just learned of your passing. It is numbing and shocking; my heart aches for your family and the people who were a part of your present life. What an enormous loss for them. Even as they grieve and wonder how to go on without you, they must all feel so deeply thankful to have been touched by you.

As I process what I have learned, I recall our relationship and the girl that I was. While I have worked very hard through the years to extend grace, compassion, and forgiveness to my former self, the vivid recollections are painful. Yet, as difficult as that close-up is, it deepens both my appreciation and my understanding of the pivotal and precious part of my journey that included you.

For some years I have had the thought that I wish you knew me now--this updated, integrated version of myself. I have shared this with a few of our mutual friends. But, having some grasp of the space time continuum, I totally get that who I am now is necessitated and precipitated by the fact that you knew me then. Thanks for being a part of who I am.

As we move through life we get all wrapped up and interconnected with others. I feel a particular gratitude to have my person interconnected with yours. That is how I have always felt when I think of you. As I write, I see with startling clarity that the sentiments don't change at all with the horrible news and sad fact of your untimely death.

I wish your family the peace that passes understanding and pray that they will eventually be comforted by their treasured memories of a very fine and special person.

with a grateful heart,

Your High School Girlfriend

Don't Let the Ego Drive the Bus!-A guest post by author Gwendolyn Conover

foreword: Some months ago the author of this piece introduced me to Eckhart Tolle. It is just one of the ways keeping this blog has blessed and enriched my life. However, being that the concepts he introduces are both very dense and have a nebulous, ethereal quality, I kept failing in my attempts to write coherently about them. Enter Gwendolyn Conover. Here is my process in a nutshell:

1. Read book Wendy recommends (renewing four times to finish and emailing Wendy for help deciphering).

2. Become aware and blown away by how much ego is involved in my daily life.

3. Think that mayhaps I really can't make any of this stick. I try to write about it and fail, I try to apply it to my life and fail.

4. I have a slow and dawning realization through my writing and daily living that something is happening. Oh, slow, mindful, incremental progress. Damn....I was hoping for instant enlightmentment.

5. I read this piece and feel too sheepish to post what I wrote about ego because this is so much better. Like I said, the progress is slow and incremental.

I hope you enjoy learning about this as much as I have. Thank you so much guest author!

Sincerely,

Sister1

Gwendolyn Conover

Guest blog for “Hey Mothers, Let’s Be Sisters”

 

Don’t Let the Ego Drive the Bus!

You know about that persistent pigeon, don’t you?  The one in the picture book by Mo Willems? He’s a little bird who really wants to drive the bus, but you’re in charge, and you’re not supposed to let him.  So you keep telling him, “No!”  But every time you turn the page he tries again to persuade you.

All I ever learned in life I learned from children's books! For more cool life lessons check out the author's site. Photo from Amazon.

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Don’t you love that book?

Me too.  Oh, and my kids think it’s pretty fun also.  But what does that pesky pigeon have to do with—ego?

Well, what if I told you I’m convinced there’s a little bird inside your head that is more persuasive, more persistent, and quite a bit sneakier than our pigeon friend?  And not only does this bird want to drive your bus, most of the time he does! 

Beep, beep!  Ego at the wheel!